Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize