They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
