i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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