Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
