Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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