Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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