Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
