yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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