just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
