the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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