I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
