"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Say something about gay babies.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
