I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
