I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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