Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
