If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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