I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
