is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
