be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
