I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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