Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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