Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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