i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
