Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
