i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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