laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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