Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
