i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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