Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
