Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
