Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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