Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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