You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
