If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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