so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
