Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize