My liver just broke up with me...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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