it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm always down for nudity.
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