I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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