none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
