you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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