he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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