I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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