So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
