yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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