I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
All I want is dick and wine.
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