The maid of honor just puked.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
