Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
