I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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