are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
