this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
