there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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