Farmville is her only friend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
