drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
