who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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