Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
