Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Can I color on your dick again?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
