I hate all girls vehemently.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
