pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
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And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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