i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
