it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
