You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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