i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
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Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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